Supplies! Jon Hillenbrand, March 1, 2011October 17, 2019 I don’t squeeze my toothpaste tube up from the bottom the way everyone else does because I like there to be some surprises in my life. Like, “Hey, there’s a whole ‘nother glob of extra toothpaste over here in this part! Just when I thought I was running out!” Unfortunately, the most recent surprises in my life aren’t as pleasant. Recently I was asked to photograph a check presentation at the Chicago Auto Show. Seemed like a boring way to attend the CAS, but then I got a nice surprise that I was getting to go on Media Day! No crowds, no strollers, free entry, woo hoo! But then I had another surprise. The free parking that I found wasn’t allowed for CAS attendees. So for the two or so hours that I was there, I was worried that I would come back to an empty space as Nelson drove by and yelled, “Haw haw!” But surprise! My car was still there! The beauty of the auto show masks the armies of tow trucks waiting outside to remove the crappy cars you already own Other recent surprises have been equally mixed. I discovered a cabinet in my kitchen that I hadn’t opened in like a year (I don’t cook much). I looked inside and found candlesticks, wine glasses and fabric napkins. Oooh la la, how romantic. And surprise! There’s that missing pillow case you gave up on mixed in with the napkins. Later, I went to make a sandwich. Surprise! Half the bread you left out has been eaten by something. Remember that annoying rattling plastic sound you heard the other night when you were at the computer? Yeah, that was some animal in the kitchen ten feet away from you. Freeloading mouse can't get enough of my gourmet bread Guessing it’s a mouse, and feeling smarter than the old saying, “You can’t make a better mouse trap,” I designed my own mouse trap: Note the ingenious and largely redundant suspended "second bait" It had to be non-lethal because what the heck, it’s just trying to get some food. The next day, however, I discovered that the bait that I put out wasn’t up to the mouse’s standards. My friend Tera suggested that I bait it with bread since it seemed to be craving carbs, as if the mouse were preparing for some mouse marathon. Probably a good idea, but surprise, surprise, I disassembled the trap and decided to just not leave bread out anymore figuring that the mouse will move on. Surprise, I can hear it digging at the base moulding from the inside of the walls now. Creepy. Photography Thoughts babysittingcar prisoncarschildrendrawingphotographytowing
Photography How to Survive a Bank Robbery July 1, 2008October 17, 2019 I’m a man of action. I don’t wear suits to work, I wear cargo pants and roomy shirts so that I can slide across car hoods comfortably. My footwear enables me to chase down perps and run two or three steps up a vertical wall. That way I can grab… Read More
Photography ARC July 27, 2011October 17, 2019 Automatic Relationship Compensation (ARC). I’ve discovered that I suffer from ARC after I bought my first car. The concept is this: the more my romantic life suffers, the more money I spend on my car. After three years of on and off with a girl I was dating, my car… Read More
Photography Et maintenant au Congo August 30, 2010October 17, 2019 Often when I am photographing wealthy socialites partying or buying art on the north shore of Chicago, I think of a friend of mine, Amy Ernst, who is in the Congo right now taking amazing photos of interesting people. But she’s not there to take photos, she’s doing her part… Read More